My Saviour
by iolaaa
Summary: POST ANH: It's been two years since the destruction of the first Death Star. Leia's depression increases and she struggles even more. Han develops feelings for the Princess that he is unable to deny. Luke is frustrated with unknown attachment toward Leia. *Rated M for very mature themes*
1. Chapter 1

Leia couldn't take it anymore. The reminder of the pain that built up each day since the destruction of Alderaan. Ultimately, she blamed herself. If she hadn't ran away, if she hadn't entered the Death Star, if she hadn't been captured, her mother and father would still be alive, she'd be safe on her home planet but somehow, deep down, she knew that if none of it happened, she wouldn't have met Han or Luke.

It had been almost two years since the destruction of the Death Star, since the gang won, but she was still onboard the Falcon, they were still travelling places, still on standby for a comeback that was threatening through the rippling galaxy. It was her duty, her job to make clear and be in charge. Two years since she had been resisting the taunts of Han Solo, and trying to ignore the tempting and tension between them. Both of them seemed to hate each other's guts, she was always arguing with him and he her. There was nothing about their relationship that was friendly or warming. Always a day where they'd fight over something stupid and never saying sorry. They were both too stubborn.

Luke on the other hand was caring, sensitive and loving toward Leia. She had a sense of security and a home sort of feeling around him, as if a connection was waiting to burst if they were apart for too long. Which simply was sometimes the case. Since their meeting, there was an attraction that both couldn't deny, a sexual tension that sparked them both and it was intoxicating. They kissed a lot too. Passionate and sinful kisses that felt so wrong but she didn't know why. It felt like they were related some of the time, and when they broke apart they'd stare at each other for ages. Their eyes telling more than words coming out of her mouth.

When she shared moments with Han, the sexual tension was hotter and much more fiery. They never kissed before, but she was so close to wanting him and needing him in her. Han touched her, their lips inches apart, so close to being intimately close, but Leia wouldn't let him. She loved Luke, but when it came to Luke, it didn't feel like a romantic love, it was more of a safe feeling. Again, like they were related.

Leia made her way to the med base, making her way to get rid of the settling pain and frustration that she could no longer face. She had just encountered another argument with Han, she was fuming with rage. He always insisted he knew best, just because he could drive a ship, just because he was reckless enough. However, Han knew nothing and didn't take interest in the political side of things which was Leia's bright point.

She rattled in the cupboards, searching for the bottle. Searching for the meds. She found them. Unscrewing the lid with shaky hands and pouring out three white small circles in the palm of her hand. She tilted her head back, her hands shaking as she threw them in her mouth, coarsely swallowing as she melted to the ground. Her whole body felt like tremors were shooting around her. A sob escaped her lips and a few tears slid down her face, she wiped them away harshly with the back of her hand, cursing at her own vulnerability.

"Leia?" She jumped at the sound of his voice. She looked up with foggy eyes, the tallness and broadness of his form. His hands placed out in front of him, his mouth slightly ajar and his eyes filled with concern. He let out a sigh, bowing his head and taking in her form.

"I thought you were doing okay. We've been through this before Leia. How many did you take this time huh?"

Leia shrugged, sniffling quietly as she got up and dusted off the invisible dirt on the back of her pants. "Nothing risky."

She tried to move past Han but he caught her elbow, grabbing her close and tilted her chin. "Don't lie to me Leia. You know _me. _It's been two years, has it not? Why can't you just listen to the Doctor's and accept that you aren't well-"

"I told you I'm fine!" She snapped as she glared at him incredulously. "Just because you know about all of this, doesn't mean you know me well enough to insist that I need help, because I don't."

"You fucking do Leia. Godammit. I know you well enough that you cry yourself to sleep at night, that you've been taking pills on and off for the past two years, that you go to Luke for comfort every night and then sneak to me some other nights. That you can't decide who you love best. That you won't admit that you're not doing good and that you need help!"

She slapped him harshly across the cheek and Han's hand flew to the place she'd done it. Leia's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. She had never slapped anyone before, never lost control like that. "Han I'm sorry." Tears gathered in her brown eyes as she placed her hand to the place she'd slapped him. "Han I didn't mean that... I just..."

Han wasn't angry. Instead he took her small hands in his big ones, his hazel eyes searching in her brown for any agreement. "Our next destination, when we get off here, I'm getting you help. You can't live like this, you need to get passed this Leia. Your frustration, guilt and depression. Alderaaan happened okay? You're devastated, but you're hurting people and you aren't yourself."

She snatched her hands away and threw him a look of hatred. "I need help? Oh really Captain? Who's been sneaking bimbos and half wits in the middle of the night at every bar we stop at? Who's been sleeping with countless women? Who's been throwing it in my face? You. And now you have the nerve to say that I need _help_."

Han's eyes darkened, his expression unreadable. She thought he was about to kiss her, but instead he cupped her chin roughly, she winced as she bravely looked in his eyes.

"You're the one," He breathed, "Who's sleeping with Luke, can't make her mind up, always blaming me.." He smiled deviously, "And those women, I do it to forget you. Atleast they're willing to know who and what they want, even if it is for one night only." With that, he turned on his heel, storming and rounding the corner, leaving Leia speechless. After all, he was the only one who knew about her darkest secrets.

_A/N: A little short because chapter one is always short. In my case anyway. Anyway, a new story. So I got this idea randomly one day and really wanted to write it. I have my creative Star Wars plots back and I really hope you will like this story. Don't worry, the story does lead up to TESB but i wanted to know exactly what happened between Luke, Leia and Han, and this is what came out. Feedback is much appreciated. Thank you!_


	2. Chapter 2

A few more days on the Falcon had passed. Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie travelled to the _Derra_ System where they decided to settle for a while. Although the planet was a wasteland and garbage use for the Rebellion, it had been heavily abandoned which lead them there. Just for a hide out, where the rest of the Alliance were waiting and to escape the evil clutches of Vader.

Han stepped out onto the ground, he looked around him. Vile, shredded trees crowded around him, a sapphire sky above and murky grass beneath them. He spun around toward Leia, "Looks like we'll be camping out here for a few days until the rest get here."

Leia looked puzzled, glancing around the land around them. "I don't think this is safe. Vader hid out here too at one point, he could be-"

"Atleast a galaxy away." Han interjected, letting out a loud yawn. "Besides, we're going to be sleeping inside the Falcon, not out here. This ain't a camping trip, Sweetheart."

Leia shuddered at the word. _Sweetheart _was the term of endearment without the endearment that Han used on her. She hated it, it made her cringe but because she hated it, he smirked and didn't stop.

"Leia's right, Han." Luke said, joining them and standing close to Leia. "This probably isn't the best location to hide out, they could come back and know we're here."

Han rolled his eyes, holding his hand up. "Look kid, Chewie knows it and I know it, Vader ain't anywhere near. Now c'mon, do you think I'd be that stupid to land us back somewhere they'd find us easily. _No. _Infact, they probably think we're avoiding this specifiably, ironically we aren't so there's nothing to worry over."

Luke and Leia remained quiet. Han did have a point, but the odds were too risky and they were at stake of being captured again, anything could happen. Leia folded her arms, looking up at Han with coldness. "If we end up caught out, it's your fault Captain. All your fault. This is treacherous and right now, I don't fully agree of being here." Her face was so close to Han's that he towered over her, possessing her as he pointed his finger at her.

"Princess, I'm not taking orders from ya, definitely not _you_. You can stomp your feet and grimace all you like but we're staying here and that's final."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Leia's voice rose, growing nearer to Han, "How dare you.."

Luke caught Leia's elbow, holding her back. "Leia it isn't worth it, just accept this okay? Go inside." Leia's lips trembled, her eyes low and concentrated on Han's. She shook her head, glancing away and stormed back in the Falcon. Han chuckled, shaking his head.

"She's some girl isn't she?"

"Han, why do you both hate each other? Can't you just both try and get along."

Han smirked at Luke, staring off at the direction Leia headed. "We're like fire and ice. Only it's fair to say who's the cold one."

* * *

Leia retired for the evening. She changed out of her working clothes into her nightgown. Another night again that she couldn't relax, she was too anxious about being too close to the Rebellion. She huffed in disapproval as she let her hair fall naturally, grabbing her comb and running it through her chesnut locks. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn't that seventeen year old Princess that had everything she dreamed of in Alderaan. Time had aged her, despite that she was only twenty years old. Not only had the experience changed her, but her depression that she could feel settling back in her soul had taken over her mind. Han was the only one that knew about it, he had walked in on her popping pills, too many and forced her to spit them back out. She explained everything, he knew her all too well. He realised she was still sick and very much lost inside her head. She had let her dignity fall and cried in front of him, which was a change, she wasn't used to showing her vulnerability, she was referred to as the _ice woman. Never smiles. Obsessed with her work. _If only they knew her true feelings and that her work was all she had left. In some ways, she could have given up, committed suicide long ago but she felt like she was needed, the alliance needed her, Luke, Chewie and Han needed her. Han controlled her thoughts again and she frustratingly shook her head. She didn't want to think about Han. Speaking of Han, she heard his loud boots stop outside her door. She held her breath as she waited for any snide comment or knock but nothing. Instead, she heard him sigh in a way she couldn't define and his footsteps distanced.

Just as she was about to crawl into bed, a knock on the door startled her. "Who is it?" She called, slipping a night jacket around her. She wrapped it around her securely covering her chest as the doors swished open, revealing Luke.

"Sorry, Leia. I didn't realise you were in bed already."

"Oh no. Luke don't worry about it, I wasn't even in yet. What do you inquire?"

Luke paused, turning and pressing the button to let the doors slide back again. Leia's eyebrows raised as he got closer to her. "What is with you and Han all the time? It's as if you hate each other's guts.."

"That we do." Leia replied, sitting across from him, folding her hands. "You've always known that."

Luke nodded agreeingly but bit his lip anxiously. "I see the way he looks at you. It's as if he can't stand you one minute but then comes rushing after you, concern and guilt sweeping his face. For example: yesterday. You stormed off and he came running after you."

Leia gulped, letting her head hang as she played with invisible thread on her nightgown. She couldn't imagine telling Luke her deepest secrets.

"Leia...?"

She looked up but Luke was already inches apart from her, taking her hands into his he leaned in. Their lips melted together, her tongue sliding past his lips as she slid her hands down his arms. They broke apart every few seconds, their eyes lustful and unsure.

"Luke, about this affair, I-"

"Shhh." Luke whispered, placing a chaste kiss to her lips. "I know we should stop... it feels wrong and I know we're more friends than anything else but I need to hold you one last time..make love to you one more time..." He met her lips again, his hands in amongst her hair as she traced her lips over his jawline. Their bodies fit awkwardly, sinking back on the bed. Their hormones and desire for each other was fulfilled again.

Leia wasn't as innocent as everybody thought. Not as pure as everyone thought. Han suspected it but never actually knew the truth. Every night, Leia went to her quarters and Luke would follow and have sex with her. The two of them had been having an affair for six straight months, but it all began with kisses after the award ceremony. Leia loved Han but Han couldn't make Leia feel closer to home. There was something about Luke that comforted her, made her feel welcome and she felt more like his sister than anything else. Why they made love? It felt natural, close and home orientated.

Neither one could understand why it felt so wrong yet so satisfying and right.

An hour passed, all was still and silent on the Falcon. Leia and Luke lay on top of each other, their naked sweaty bodies stuck to each other like glue. Leia's eyes glistened with tears, she was using Luke and she felt terrible about it. She was just in need for some comfort. The other thing was that sometimes she wanted to do the same with Han, only for the long haul, that was the difference. Luke ran a hand through his sandy messy hair. He pressed a kiss to Leia's mouth as rolled away from her.

"So this is finished?"

"Yes." Leia whispered, holding back the tears. Luke didn't say anything, he snuck off, leaving Leia distressed and she felt like her shining beacon of light had been taken from her. Six months gone and passed in the blink of an eye, like Alderaan.

_A/N: Basically, incest... yeah. There was a point for this chapter, I have always been a believer that the twins had something going on, there are so many signs in the ESB with their body language, kisses here and there, prolonged eye contact. Actually, I've made my research and families can infact have attraction toward each other but it's more of a security feeling and the connection is partly because they're so close. Weird, right? Anyway, that's probably most of the Luke and Leia situation in this chapter. I don't wanna gross anyone out but that was honestly neccesary for the future chapters. But from here, it will be mostly about Han and Leia's relationship. _

_Finally, i hope everyone is liking this story so far and likes my take and twists on things. Feedback is much appreciated and reviews make my life haha :) Thank you!_


	3. Chapter 3

The Alderaan Princess woke the next morning, her eyes fluttering open at the beam of light shining through the small gap of the window. It took a solid few moments for her to remember where she was: _The Derra System._ Which she highly disapproved of. Sighing loudly, she swung her legs to the side and shot up, rummaging through to get ready. Today, she had to be prepared, get installments for various different med equitment and ship requirements that were heavily needed. They needed to restore incase of an immediate release from Vader and the remaining team of the Empire. As soon as the War was over, she would have nothing. Have no one.

_Luke._ Her thoughts traced back to the night before. Her heart thudded in entire disgust at herself for using Luke like that, _again._ She had been foolish to think that Luke was her saviour, who her heart belonged to, because after time she had discovered it was nothing but lust. Nothing but a string of attachment which still remained unknown. Luke felt it too, they talked about it, talked about how they felt weird and strange after being close like that, how their sexual desire only went so far, it felt like a barrier was blocking the feelings to develop to an emotional level. It was highly physical and the two of them could not put their finger on it.

That was all it was between them, lust. Nothing more and nothing less. Of course she did love him as a friend but it wasn't a romantic feeling at all.

Embarrased with herself, she dressed in her usual white repetition of clothing. The same clothes she wore on the Death Star. Arrangement of her hair was settled in a non existing parting, swept back and put it in her usual swirl hairstyle, only instead of them being at her ears, she put them at the back of her head. There, she was ready. She dusted her cheeks with powder and added some colour onto her lips but that was as far as she put on.

Walking through to the Falcon, it was empty. She was puzzled. Usually, they'd all be eating breakfast. She stepped out onto the cockpit. Nothing. She rounded the corner, walking in a simple stride toward the kitchen area. Chewie sat there, mimicking something in his own language while Threepio seemed to be debating with him.

"...No you silly Wookie. I told you to put the yogurt in the pantry, oh Goodness, now it will be no use to eat..." She smiled at the daily antics of the two and walked up to the table.

Threepio looked up, "Ah, Mistress Leia, Good Morning! Please sit, we are just getting breakfast out."

"Thank you Threepio. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Master Luke and Captain Solo have gone out to fetch some Coconut. Apparently it's one of a kind out here." He robotically, looked around before concentrating on Leia. "I think everything is done."

"If you're sure." Leia sat beside Chewie, engaging in small talk even though she still didn't understand half the things he said.

"...All I'm saying is, is that we had these on Corellia but they were nowhere near as good as the ones out here." Han said. Leia looked up, hearing his footsteps as he climbed on. He glanced at Leia greetingly "Good Mornin', Princess, we were just getting some coconut for first meal."

Leia raised an eyebrow. "Coconut?"

"Uh huh." Han replied, putting a huge coconut in the middle of the table. "All we need now is a hammer to bang the thing open. Chewie go and get me some tools, will ya?"

"What's wrong with kitchen tools," She asked, getting up and crossing the room to get a huge saw out of the drawer. "If it could beat up that steak, I'm sure it can crack some fruit."

Han shook his hand dismissively, "This ain't just any fruit, Sweetheart. This is Derra's wild and hardcore fruit."

Leia snorted nudging him out the way. "I bet I can easily open this."

Han stared at her, mouth ajar and his eyes bright. "Try it sweetheart." He challenged her. "Try it."

"She 'll hurt herself." Luke said all of a sudden. Leia spun around to see Luke standing at the doorway with his arms crossed. He glanced at her momentarily, shock crossing his face. "Leia they're rigid. Very rigid. You'll get hurt."

Han rolled his eyes, "Kid I want her to humour me, go on Leia, try it."

Leia glared at them both, "Look, if I can watch my home planet being destroyed, I can open up a bit of damn fruit." Everyone stood stunned. It was the first time that Leia openly talked about Alderaan cooly and relaxed. Leia winced at the memories, shaking it out of her head. "Stand back Solo."

Solo stood far back along with Luke and Threepio. "Misstress Leia, be careful!" Threepio said with a warning tone. Everyone stood tense, watching a petite and young Princess hammer the coconut.

She clutched the tool in her hands, grasping it so it didn't fall out of her hands, she raised it high and slowly and carefully bashed it against the fruit. Lamely, it shook sideways off to the corner of the table. She heard a slight chuckle and she guessed it was Han. Well she'd show him. Angrily, she raised it again and more demanding and furiously, beat it three time against the fruit. She did it another four times, repeating it so she'd get right inside. The fruit rejected her angry blows to it. Why didn't it want to open up? Was Han right?

No one said anything and she decided to put everyone out of their misery. "Oh for the Love of Vader!" She exclaimed, reaching into her belt, she raised her weapon and shot the damn thing until it cracked open. Then the coconut was open. It's insides juicy and ripe to eat. Leia smiled at herself, blowing the tip of the blaster and shoving it back into her belt. She turned to look at Luke, Han, Threepio and Chewie who had just returned.

"It didn't count!" Han smirked. "You used your blaster."

"I got it open!" Leia said firmly, ignoring his vicious taunts. "That's the main thing."

Luke just stared at her, his eyes full of wonder and lust. Leia avoided his gaze and sat back down, Han and Luke across from her and Chewie. She brushed the thin coat of sweat that became visible on her eyebrow from attempting to open the coconut. Han watched her tentavily as he bit into the fruit. Leia ate silently, trying to take her mind off the night before and her events with Luke. He seemed to be calculating her, the sexual tension seemed dead despite everything that happened between them. Now it just felt very awry.

"So.." Han finally said. "I was thinking that we will fly off in a couple of days, return to the Alliance, get what we need and I'll drop you off with the Kid, Princess. We'll ship Golden Rod and Artoo off and I'll get my money."

"Your money?" Leia scoffed. "I thought you were going to stay, there are still many battles to face."

Han got up from his seat, downing the last of his milk. "This was a package deal, I'm in it for the money, you've always known that. But that's it."

Leia's heart pullumeted to her stomach. She felt challanged with Han but he was a good friend and great support to her issues, she just didn't get why he always wanted to leave. Didn't he feel the same way? Why did he have to be so cruel and selfish?

"We need you." Leia hissed, darting her eyes back to him and getting up, placing her hands on her hips. "You're a natural leader, a great pilot... the Alliance depend on you, I-"

Han pointed a finger at her, scowling. "Don't you dare lay that crap on me cause we all know it isn't true. Don't _you_ dare."

Leia let out a deep sigh, balling her fists as she scowled right back at him. "We need you Han, you're a fool if you don't believe that." She turned her back to him, about to walk out, a few steps out of the door.

She heard his boots clatter after her, felt his hand snake around her waist and push her against one of the walls on the Falcon. His face inches from her, she could feel his wary breath tickle her skin, feel his weight crushing her. Her cheeks reddened and she became sweaty. She noticed every detail on his face that she had overlooked before, his deep hazel eyes that seemed to glare though her soul, his tousled light brown hair that he messily took care of. The thin lines which seemed to dot some of his face, mostly of age of course. He was much older than her. And that lopsided grin that he'd shoot at her which made her heart melt. Leia didn't know why she felt this way, why her heart skipped a few beats, even at the feel of his touch. She didn't want to feel this way. At first she disliked him immediately. Han lowered his face. "We all know, that's not the reason. And you're a fool to even deny it." He backed away, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry, Princess. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that..."

She shook her head, her eyes creasing at the sides. "Oh go to hell!" Then she ran from him, heading to the nooks and crannies of the ship, to get on with her duties, a sense of regret filled her then and there. One thing was for sure, Han Solo knew how to make her emotional.

_**A/N Not a lot going on in this chapter apart opening up a damn coconut and awkwardness between the gang. It all leads up to good things though, I promise. I've been getting amazing support for this story and I wanna thank everyone for clicking the review button because they honestly motivate me to update faster, I would've updated before but it's been really hot where I live so I haven't been on my laptop at all yet this week.**_

_**Anyway, lemme know your thoughts and I hope you enjoyed.**_


	4. Chapter 4: AN

**A/N: Is anyone actually reading this, though? Okay so hey everybody. Where have I been? Nowhere. Just waiting on some motivation from my previous chapter. Really don't mean to sound vain but I'm struggling with the next chapter. Infact, this was originally the paragraph I had typed up for it, then I realised I just wasn't into it today, it just felt like I was out of balance with the characters and then writers block hit me, it got ugly. Anyways, I decided to write y'all a little quick note to basically put it out there that I am still writing this story but I'm having trouble trying to continue it. It started with Leia popping pills. Then returning to the Alliance and Han and Leia bickering but nothing worked. (stressing the word_ "nothing"_)**

**Nothing seems to mould together today and I feel ****disappointed with myself as if I've let some of you down. I'm grateful for the reviews because it does motivate me but sometimes I go through a rough patch where no one reviews my stuff and maybe it's just because it's Summer and people have a life, unlike me. I was watching ROTJ last night and I was hoping I'd get regain inspiration and back into the swing of Han and Leia but ahhh, it gets fluffy at that point and this story is during the period when they're still bickering and not realising their adoration for each other and stuff. I guess this has ended up to be a quick note about how I need some suggestions on where to start this story now, next chapter ideas, blah blah blah. So, please PM me or leave in a review what you think I should do next. I'll take them into consideration and try and work my way back the story. I'm laughing at myself because usually, writing comes naturally to me and today IT'S JUST NOT WORKING. OK. Basically, that's it.   
**

**Thank you!**

**-_ iolaaa_**


	5. Chapter 5

The Rebellion spilled into the conference room all at once as new data plans had been updated and a new mission ready to undertake. Leia followed behind Han, they had just got off the Falcon after the Derra hideout and still ignored each other, she kept her hands behind her back, eager to reach out and slap him once more but she did infact regret she had slapped him, besides, he had helped her in the past.

They strode in, Luke behind Leia, Leia behind Han and Han walking with Chewie, they stood at the side as Leia took her place at the front beside General Riekaan. Infinite worry over a new threat swam over Leia.

"General." She rushed over to him, capturing him in an embrace.

"Princess, we're glad to see you safe and sound-"

"No time for that General, what's happened? Is everything alright?"

General Riekaan stood before her, hands folded and gestured over to the board. "Vader has unleashed new mechanical droids which are infact poisonous, we need the best support team, I couldn't think of any better than you, Captain Solo and Chewbacca. Luke however is much needed here, incase of an attack. You know, safety reasons.."

"Yes.." Leia replied. It was the last she needed to hear. Another mission with Han. Alone. It was the worst for her. She wondered if there was any way she could stick around the Alliance but then a melancholy feeling hit her. A side of her wanted to stay with Han, she did feel safe with him, especially when they were under attack by Imperials. Besides, how would she cope each night, waking up from one of her dreadful nightmares on Alderaan without his arms tightly wounded around her, his head resting on top of her own..

"Very well, General." She concluded, turning to shoot a look over to Han. "Where is the mission?"

"Zaroliss. We have a base where you can keep on check but of course it is further away, almost a few and a half days to travel. Once we arrive, we'll meet at the base and go into the Battle. Understood?"

"Say no more." She told him, smiling a little. "That is fine."

At that moment, she had never felt so relieved to have a relaxing battle where it didn't cause her having to sit on the Falcon the entire time, waiting around for nothing to happen. She would be able to get enough time with Han, not too much and still be involved deeply into the work going on around her. She'd retire into her office at the Base during the battle, keeping on check of things and she wouldn't need to see Han a lot. It was all too perfect for her.

"General, I couldn't help but overhear. What's the deal here huh?" Han slung an arm around Leia lazily and she cocked her eyebrow at him, shrugging him off and stepping away from him. General Riekaan chuckled a little.

"Good to see you Solo. Zaroliss is under attack, Vader has new poisonous droids there and they're pretty big to just ignore. They are almost lethal, we need the best team possible. Couldn't think of a better team than yourself, Chewbacca and Princess Leia here." He grinned.

Han exchanged the grin, and slung his arm back around Leia, his hand cupping her small arm tightly so she couldn't move this time. "Well, the Princess is gonna like this, a new battle. More of me.. us..." His voice trailed off as he cheekily smiled at Leia. Leia rolled her eyes, yanking herself away from him.

"This mission is entirely professional, General. I assure you." She raised her hands, beckoning to herself and Han. "There's nothing going on here. We-"

"Don't worry Princess. I knew you weren't into former Cowboys." General Riekaan turned to Luke, his gaze never faltering. Leia's stomach churned. She knew what he was thinking, her and Luke were an item. Everybody talked about it and she was sick to death of people assuming about it.

Han didn't follow Riekaan's gaze and when Leia spun to face him she saw a tiny bit of jealousy behind his eyes. She smirked to herself and nodded to Riekaan, talking over another few bits and pieces to clarify.

"Thank you General. We'll command the alarm once we hit the base. Shall I take any required information along with me?"

General Riekaan was now holding an instructing data pad, he didn't look at her as he skimmed through it. "Nothing new. Take Threepio with you, I think that's it."

She nodded to him, hugged him goodbye and headed off to collect her items she needed. She passed Luke who was standing with Han at the Falcon. Luke was already dressed in his uniform for his own mission.

"Leia!" He called, rushing over to her. Leia's heart pounded in her ears as he captured her in his arms. He ran a hand down the length of her back and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. Leia looked away awkwardly and then brought her attention to his uniform. "You are off then?"

"Yes." He gulped, his mind reeling with things he wanted to tell her. Leia noticed a tall and dark figure behind them. She knew it was Han, she didn't need to second guess it. "Goodbye, Luke. Again.." She brought him back in her own embrace and pressed her powdered cheek to the side of his face. unnecessarily, they stood like that for too long. Leia backed from him, wishing him luck and walked slowly to what she was doing before she had ran into him. It was going to be strange for her to not share a bed with Luke, to not have someone to understand her own feelings for the remainder of the trip- but it was for two days, she'd be fine. Deep down she knew that.

* * *

"Chewie, prepare for take off, will ya?" Han asked the furry creature as he positioned himself in the Captain seat. He sat back, his head leaning against the head rest as he watched Leia tentaively. She was sitting patiently in her seat, on her datapad as she manoeuvred to press a few things on it.

"Well Princess, looks like you got me to stay a tad bit longer."

Was he seriously going to start irritating her and they hadn't even started to take off yet. She scowled at him and then pressed a few more buttons on the data pad. "Riekeaan declared this mission." She explained in her professional voice. "You don't need to humour me Han, it isn't going to work. As a member and dedicated worker of the Alliance, I solely _want_ to help them."

Chewie laughed in his own husky language in a muffle as Han rolled his eyes and spun to face her. "You know what I think it is?"

Leia huffed impatiently, raising her eyebrows gullibly at him.

"I think, because the Kid isn't going to be around at your little base, you came onboard this mission because you secretly have feelings for me, I'm better than nothing. Right?"

Leia was gobsmacked, she glared at him incredulously and sat in silence. Han said nothing more and usually he would've expected a snide comment back, an argument blowing out of proportion. As the ship took off, no one said a word and Han could feel the fume and tension raise on the back of his neck. It wouldn't be long until she would get up from her seat and storm off, vanishing to parts of the ship for a while and only returning during meal times and flight watch. Her schedule was apart of his life, he knew it by heart.

And like a cue, as soon as the ship was jumped into hyperspace, she got up and stormed off. Leaving the door to swish angrily aside and then close behind her.

Chewie said something that displeased Han and he shook his head at him.

"What did I do now?" Han exclaimed, pointing to himself. "She's mad at me because I'm right. Why else would she have left if she cares about this so Goddamn much." The two bickered for a while in angst before Han jumped up, leaving Chewie on flight duty as he searched for the Princess.

He checked the lounging area, the gallery, the pantry, the refresher, his cabin and even Leia's chair she sat in while doing work. She wasn't there. A slight state of panic swam over Han as he rushed under the ship, climbing down the narrow ladder and stepping through the small yet narrow hallway. There she was. Cooped up on the floor, her back against the metal wall at the very back, her legs sprawled out before her. Her eyes shut and a bottle of pills left unscrewed tilted in her hand.

"Shit." Han cursed to himself, running over to her. He checked her pulse which was thankfully still beating, he tilted her head, checking her mouth to see any hope of a pill lying loose. None. He reached for the bottle of pills, investigating how many were left. Only a few. He checked the label. _Painkillers_. It read. Han's mouth was suddenly dry and he felt sick. Could he have made her overdose? He would never forgive himself..

He shook Leia violently, hitting her cheek to see if she was conscious. Leia sagged in his arms and before he knew what he was doing, he pressed his mouth to her own, letting small pumps of air through to let her breathe. Leia's eyes fluttered open and she swatted him away, getting up. "Han, what are you doing?!"

Han was shocked. More than shocked. Confused. Worried. Angry. And moreover, sorry. "Why are you lying on the floor Leia and missing pills in that blasted bottle of yours?" She watched him closely. His eyes full of rage and concern, the creases on his forehead deepening as he waited for an answer. Leia shrugged, dusting off non existent dirt on the back of her trousers. "I had a headache, I just dozed off I suppose.."

"Bull shit." He snapped pointing to them and grabbing them out of her hand. "Gods, Leia are you even prescripted? You are constantly on this medication and I know for a fact what you're trying to do?"

"Oh really Captain?" She screamed at him. She leaned closer to him, their faces inches apart. Their breaths tickling each other's faces. "I take them to numb the pain in me. The pain of never having what I really want or love. Or what I need. I'm messed up, yes you could say that. Depressed? Maybe so but at least I don't bully women into making them feel like crap every time they are with them-"

Han interjected her by pressing his mouth to hers. This kiss was different than anything they'd done before. Usually, it was pecks, soft inviting kisses but this was a demanding kiss. Han persisted Leia, holding her tightly as he fit his hand around her narrow waist and pulled her into him. Without backing away, Leia indulged in the kiss, her mouth opening slightly as Han swept his tongue gently over her lower lip. She groaned in unison as they stumbled backwards against the wall. Han's hands slid down her back, across her chest and down to her hips, her own hands gathered in Han's thick hair that she loved. The kiss heated up, their exploring undeniable. Han gathered her in his arms, holding her gently as they sunk down on the floor and escaped for air every few moments. Then, he got up. Staring down at the Princess, confused on what he did and why he did it.

"Sorry." He mumbled. Leia shook her head, tears fogging her eyes. She batted them away furiously and then stormed off again, running from Han, trying to escape his grasp and passion that they had both just started.

* * *

At dinner, ration bars were at the table. It was all they had left in stock in the pantry. Leia tried to avoid Han's wandering gaze as much as possible. She ate in silence and Threepio and Chewie had no idea why.

"Captain Solo, I'll be at assistance to stay on flight watch overnight."

"Yeah.." Han got up, scraping his chair back and downed the last of his whiskey. "Thanks." He took one last longing look at Leia and then headed to his cabin. Leia shook her head regretting everything she had done before and picked up her data pad.

"Princess Leia, may you require anything else?" Threepio robotically inquired.

"No thanks, Threepio. I'll just retire for the evening."

* * *

She headed to the fresher and changed into her nightgown, thoughts raced through her head as she teared up. Had she made things even more awkward between her and Han? It was her fault for making it obvious about what she was doing and then she opened up about her biggest secret to him. She felt lousy and pathetic. She moved to grab her hairbrush, undoing the swirling hairstyle as she combed through her locks, staring at her guilty expression in the mirror.

Han bustled passed and made his way to the fresher, the door was slightly ajar so he peered in. He drank in the sight of Leia. Only in the darkness had he seen her during the night, her hair down and her childlike face but tonight he could see all of her in clear light. He watched her, mesmerised at how she seemed lost in her own world. She had chocolate coloured hair and it was naturally wavy, it hung just before her lower back met her backside. Her cheeks pure and glowing from the lack of powder usually on them during the day. He had never seen anything so alluring. After all, brushing your hair was a normal human thing but something in the way Leia did it sparked Han in a mysterious unknown way. His heart leapt as she placed it down, readjusting the back of her nightgown and then she headed his way.

Han turned his back, casually leaning against the wall as she merged from the room. She looked at him in calculation. "Fresher is free." And then she stalked off, down the hallway, gone.

He watched her leave. The way her long hair swung naturally and her casual exhausted stride instead of the professional upright one. Why was his mind reeling, why did his heart beat fast when she appeared like this? Why now?

Leia reached her own small cabin with a single cot bed and a side drawer sat. She climbed into bed and reached for her data pad, with last minute organisations she contacted the Alliance and then switched it off. As she tossed and turned during the night. She expected to be awaken by her own screams, her own nightmares haunting her. How could she sleep when it was in the back of her mind so easily? Now, she couldn't stalk off for Han's comfort. Not at a time like this, she stayed awake that night, drinking endless cups of Kaffee, trying to take her mind off the Corellian pilot she loved.

* * *

Han waited and waited and waited. It was well into the middle of the night, usually Leia would be heard, her footsteps growing louder and louder as she got nearer to Han's cabin. Then he would hear his bed squeak as she climbed in, then her head cower into his chest, the smell and feel of her beautiful hair encased into him. Then he would make love to her for the first time, make her feel at home, finish off this strange peculiar feeling that crept up in him every time Leia entered the room. He couldn't differ between love or lust, he had never felt such a feeling before. Possibly lust for five minutes, but then he would be drunk and waking up to someone he never knew, but with Leia, it was more sincere and longer to dwell on. He just didn't know.

Disappointment crashed through him and frustration because Leia didn't appear that night, then Han decided to put a stop to their relationship. To really change things for the better.

_**A/N: YAY! I DID IT. I finally sat down and got into the Star Wars world again and I couldn't be happier. OK, so I hope this isn't getting too repetitive now and finally I'm gradually showing you Han and Leia's romance more clearly. Oh and a major thanks to my new beta reader: **__ladypeter__** who really helped me write this chapter with research and inspiration tips. Without her, this chapter wouldn't be possible. Anyway, let me know what you think :)**_


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